Bri At Home

Friends Won’t Leave You Like Your Spouse Did

Sunday, November 2nd, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

Even the best partnerships occasionally don’t work out. Calling it quits with someone you were close to and intimate with can be a devastating, lonely, and terrifying to experience. If you’re lucky to have a solid core of friends, they’ll no doubt be your wings to carry you through these very difficult times.

When you’re able to express your fears and anxieties with your inner circle of peers, you’ll most likely feel better and stronger after sharing than if you had held everything inside. What you’re actually doing in this situation is distributing the burden of stress between many people, so your individual load is lightened. Think of your friends as a sponge who are there for you to soak up your tears!

Honest friends are terrific sounding boards. If you have a friend or two who won’t steer you wrong, you can trust their advice and feedback when asking for opinions on important decisions. A divorce is a legally binding contract where personal assets and huge rewards can be won and lost. Unfortunately, it’s an emotionally draining experience which often times clouds our judgment. This is a horrible combination, as regrettable mistakes are often made when attempting to negotiate settlements when not thinking clearly. Your friends are their to help!

Having a friend is just plain good medicine for the soul. Feeling isolated and abandoned in, what used to, be a happy family home, is a risk to your physical well being. Spending the night at a pal’s house is just what the doctor ordered. If you can coordinate “play time” with your friends once or twice each week, your body will thank you for it. The pressures of divorce can be dangerous if you don’t have a release!

Getting Back Out There

Wednesday, October 29th, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

The best way to survive divorce is to jump back out there and start dating as soon as you can. While you do not want to get immediately involved in another serious relationship, nothing builds self-esteem like going out, socializing, and having other folks pursuing you. It also doesn’t hurt if you ex-spouse ends up a little jealous because of your new lifestyle. It is important to focus on yourself during this time, and being a social butterfly, reasonably, will help you along in your healing process.

• Date as much as you can
• Date for fun, not in search of serious relationship
• Socialize, be happy, have fun

If all else fails, and the dates aren’t coming along, socialize with friends and family in order to survive your divorce. Get out of the house, spend time with people that love you and think you are fabulous.  Find new activities to participate in with friends, and more than likely, those dates will come. If you are out and about, enjoying life and living it to the fullest, you are going to meet new people and be more interesting when the right relationship comes along.

It’s important to focus on yourself after a divorce, and the most important thing you can do is have fun and socialize. If you are surviving a divorce, get out there, let your hair down, and have some fun!

How I Survived My Divorce

Monday, October 20th, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

My divorce was the most destructive thing that will ever be recorded in my life.  Here are some ways that helped me to heal during my divorce and cope with the anxiety that was associated with it.  No one wants to think of their marriage as a road with an ending.  However, statistics show that divorce is ever increasing.

In dealing with a divorce one must acknowledge that their marriage has failed.  It is sometimes easier to ignore the problem rather than deal with it.  Confronting the problem is the first step.  You must recognize that you are now divorced and things will be drastically different.  Accept that you will experience emotions that will take a profound effect on your day to day life.  Your emotional stability is important and you must recognize that divorce is an emotional scar that needs to be healed.

Since I did not have children, I can state that I did not have the burden of dealing with the emotional issues attached with kids.  However, my finances were in disarray and it took me several years to get back on track.  Remember to consider whether or not you want to share bank accounts with a person.  When things are going great, it seems like the sensible thing to do.  However, more and more people are opting for separate bank accounts.  This will eliminate any future credit problems that are associated with divorces.

Finally, divorce is not the end of the road.  You can find joy and happiness in relationships with time. Remember to always look to the future with clear eyes and an open heart.  Sometimes, time spent with oneself can help heal all wounds.  Take the time that you have now, to reflect on what you can do to better yourself.  This will help to make you a stronger individual and will strengthen existing relationships.

Hold Your Friends Close, and Your Cats Closer

Monday, October 6th, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

My divorce was like a country and western song, slow, rambling and full of heartache. What is a girl to do in times like these? Well, you know that old saying- hold your friends close and your enemies closer? I think it should be hold your friends close and your cats closer. With that slight modification it would be perfectly suited as advice for those about to be divorced.

There is nothing more comforting while you are going through that sad, drawn out time then to get together with a friend or two or three, crack a bottle of wine and reminisce about good times you have had together. You know, don’t talk about him or the wedding or who is going to get what. Just talk about the fun you and your friends have had and plan on continuing to have. Maybe even start planning the next girls weekend trip. It gives you a bit of much needed stress relief and distracts your mind when you really need a break from the whole nasty proceedings.

Then after the girls are gone, cuddle up with the cats, after all, they are never going to do anything that would make you want to hire a lawyer, so you can count on them to be there for you. Cuddle up close and remember - there is an end to all this, and once it ends, life begins again.

Give Thanks – Even If You Have Questions About Divorce

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

If you or someone you know is going through the challenges and difficulties of a divorce, it can be easy to lose perspective and overlook all of the wonderful things that are still in your life. One of the best tips for surviving divorce is to focus on that which you do have: family, friends, hobbies, a fulfilling career and unique talents. You may also find that they have a lot of questions about divorce in Austin.

Of course, when a marriage ends, it can eclipse everything else, so the important part is to give yourself tangible reminders of all that you do have. Start and end each day by writing down five things (at least) for which you are thankful. Sometimes, those list might include the big items in life, like your best friend or your parents, but just as easily, they can be small things like clean, soft sheets, fresh fruit or hearing your favorite song on the radio.

While it’s important to let yourself fully experience the sadness and grief that come with the end of a relationship, when you’re working through the effects of a divorce, expressing gratitude (even if it is silent or not seen by anyone else) can help you maintain small glimmers of light that will eventually grow larger. It can also help to surround yourself with photographs of the people, places and things that you love the most for constant reminders of all of the good that still exists for you to enjoy.

Divorce Defined for Those Courageous Enough to Listen

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

Who knew that the bliss of a wedding day would lead to the sorrow, anger and frustration of a divorce? We never know and we usually don’t think in that direction while we’re busy planning what looks to be a fine future indeed.  You take a chance and it works out or it doesn’t.  But that’s life - full of risk.

The same way you took that “coming together” risk by getting married is the same way you will need to think and behave when ending a marriage.  You need to look at now, accept your reality, and realize it can be a wonderful day - if you choose to look at it that way.  Why look at marriage as the “happy” part and divorce as the “sad” part?  That’s a choice in mind set, and you have the freedom to be happy - if you choose to be.  This can be seem as freedom rather than separation; not answering to someone rather than being lonely.  What’s so bad about having the choice to go out with friends, date, or leave the laundry on the floor?

If you look at being single as a curse, so will anyone who might be remotely interested in you.  Who can enjoy being around someone who doesn’t enjoy being around themselves?  Learn to be just you and love it!  My divorce was one of the biggest self-discovery events of my life.  I really like me now and realize that a partner is someone I will CHOOSE to have in my life because they add to it, not because they’re a necessity I can’t do without.  Once you reach this point, divorce or marriage can actually look the same - just different types of risk.

My Tips for Surviving Divorce

Friday, September 12th, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

Conflicts among husband and wife are common these days and these conflicts most often lead towards divorce. However divorce can b controlled or survived in many ways.

In my opinion the main point in order to survive divorce is to do Compromise and both the husband and the wife must adopt this habit to compromise each others acts and behaviors. For example lets say a husband doesn’t want her wife to go office and he wants her to stay at home and to look after the children but on the other hand wife says that she will go to office so in this situation both the husband and wife must compromise like husband should agree that ok my wife should go to office but she will hire a baby sitter to take care of the children and the wife should agree on this. In this way the chances of conflicts between the couples minimizes and this ultimately reduces the risk of divorce.

Another important aspect on order to survive divorce is to give as much time as one can to his/her life partner means to make the life partner completely satisfied and taking care of each other’s needs and wants. Now a husband who in the morning goes to work and after his off from the work, he goes to some other place without telling his wife that where he is going and then he comes late, this thing would never satisfy his wife and in this type of couple there are greater chances of getting the life disturbed leading towards divorce.

Finally and importantly it is the duty of husband or wife is to share each other’s life experiences and the daily routines and happenings with each other. In this way a trust develops among the couple and they will be confident in telling and sharing all the things with each other, this would satisfy them and there will be very lesser chances of any type of conflicts among husband and wife. Moreover sharing all the financial matters and fulfilling each other’s financial needs can also prove to be a useful thing in spending a happy life and surviving divorce.

A Few Tips on Working Through Divorce Part 2

Sunday, August 31st, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

Another important thing to remember is to not cut off contact with friends and family.  It may be tempting to ditch friends that were shared with an ex-husband or ex-wife, but this will only cause more tension and unhappiness.  True friends will stick by both halves of a former couple so long as they are not asked to choose sides – which is something that neither party should ask of them.  Keeping in close contact with family is also crucial, no matter how much easier it may seem to avoid them for a time to escape questions and comments about the failed relationship.   Keeping in contact with an ex-spouse’s family is not as necessary unless children are involved, in which case they should not be kept from seeing half of their family out of spite or other ill will.

In the end, no matter how hard it may seem at the time, it is imperative to keep the focus off of oneself during a divorce.  This is not to say that spending time alone to think about and grieve for the failed marriage is counter-productive (everyone needs personal time to come to terms with something so life-altering), but to jump too far into the well of self-pity and doubt only leads to more sorrow in the long run.  Keep friends and family close, try to continue with normal everyday routines, and, if possible, try to remain on friendly terms with the ex-spouse.  Retaining a cordial relationship with them may seem impossible at first, but establishing an amicable relationship early on will ensure that the years to come are not only easier, but filled with less bitterness.

A Few Tips on Working Through Divorce Part 1

Saturday, August 30th, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

Divorce is never easy on anyone in a family, but there are some things that can help make the painful process easier.  The most important thing to remember is to stop focusing on the past.  To dwell on what might have been is a dark and lonely road with no end.  The fact is that every bad situation in life inspires “what if” scenarios, but nothing in the past can be changed, so reliving it over and over again does nothing but cause more pain.  This is true for everyone touched by a failed marriage, from the ex-spouses themselves to children of divorce.

That being said, focusing on the future is one of the key steps to getting past divorce.  It is common for divorced people to dissect their failed marriage in a desperate attempt to avoid any mistakes in future relationships.  However, this alone will not guarantee a successful new relationship.  In fact, trying to find someone the exact opposite of a former spouse is non-productive because instead of seeing the positive attributes of a potential new relationship, all it does is bring back old memories of the former partner.

Helping People & Families Continues

Wednesday, August 27th, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

The mission of BriatHome.org continues to be helping people. What may be changing is the way that people get that help. In the past, our focus has been to help low income and elderly people find the housing that they need. That is still a very worthy cause and it’s one that deserves tremendous support from the community. However, I have decided to refocus this site to help people in a much more personal and emotional manner.

As a child of divorced parents and now a divorcee myself, I know the pain an damage that divorce can cause. Since so many of today’s marriages end in in divorce, the number of people suffering is enormous.

I’ll be refocusing the site soon in an effort to help people that are dealing with the impact of divorce in their lives. Make sure you keep an eye on the site to see how it transforms.

But remember, housing the elderly and low income families is still an incredibly worthy cause and this site is not turning it’s back on it. We’re just moving to help a different need in our society.